wow...

I was just reading throuh some of the previous blog posts.  Each and every one of them were written when my dad was alive.  This is the first post that has been written on here since he has passed.  I'm not even sure I can get through this post with dry eyes.   Words cannot express how much I miss my dad.  I will find myself often driving and with out notice it hits me..  he really isn't here.  I can't just pick up the phone to call him, I can't jump on an airplane to go and see him.  He isn't here.  Physically anyway.  Since he passed in August I have experienced a Thanksgiving with out my dad, a Christmas with out my dad, having a baby boy with out my dad, blessing our baby boy with out my dad and buying a new home with out my dad.  Parker will look off and start smiling and cooing at the ceiling or the wall.  I know that he can see what I can only feel.  I know that my dad is there with him.  In life my dad surrounded himself with his family and especially his grandkids.  So I know in death he is doing the same thing.  He must be getting dizzy from bouncing around from house to house and state to state to pop in our lives to check on things.  I know he is above watching out for each of us.  He loves us just as much as we love him.  I cannot wait to see him again.  I know he is doing great work in heaven and he is greatly needed there but he is greatly missed here.  I love you dad and miss you more than I can bare.